6 things we’ve learned in 20 years of marriage


    Jesse and I recently celebrated a milestone anniversary – twenty years of marriage! In some ways it feels like it hasn’t been that long, and in other ways it feels like we’ve been married even longer (especially since we’ve known each other since we were 9 and 10 years old. We sat down and recorded a podcast episode discussing the biggest lessons we’ve learned over the past two decades.

    The last few years have challenged us more than ever. Going through foster licenses, caring for 6 precious children of different ages, saying goodbye to beautiful boy C who stole our hearts for 8 1/2 months, continuing to love and go with his mother and being involved in his life for the past two years Years, saying yes to David and being thrust into the world of special needs and medical complexities, countless doctor’s appointments and therapy, many scary medical moments, surgeries, saying yes to adoption, graduating from high school and going through all that college stuff and preparing to give birth, saying yes to our daughter, dating, countless sporting events, two miracle pregnancies, so many late-night wakings with three little ones… life is fulfilling and never dull.

    There are constant opportunities to trust the Lord and work together. Some days we do it better than others.

    Having three teenagers and three toddlers and a full-time home-based business is always an adventure. Every day requires organization, communication, adaptability, creativity, flexibility and patience.

    We have our moments when we’re really irritated and annoyed with each other, but we’ve learned more and more that it’s worth fighting for our marriage and for each other, rather than just fighting to be right or wrong to prove .

    Some days we are tired. Some days we wonder how this is all going to end. Some days we communicate wrong.

    But we always choose each other. We choose love again and again, even on the days when we don’t feel like it or when it’s hard or when there’s tension.

    In this episode of The Crystal Paine ShowJesse and I share a few things we’ve learned over the past 20 years:

    say i love you often
    Go out of your way to make each other laugh.
    Give your spouse time and space to do things that he loves and that bring him life.
    Flirt every day.
    Find the good and call it out.
    A strong marriage doesn’t come easy, but it’s so worth the time, intention, and sacrifice. Listen below as we unwrap each of these and get a really hands-on look at what this looks like in our daily lives.

    Happy 20th Anniversary, Jesse! Thank you for continuing to choose and love me – even on the rough days! I would marry you again and again! I love you so much!

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    In this episode

    [00:35] – We recently celebrated a milestone anniversary.

    [01:56] – We share lessons we have learned in twenty years of marriage.

    [02:22] – Don’t believe everything you dream.

    [04:09] – I just finished listening to the audio book The bookwoman from Troublesome Creek.

    [06:49] – There is a sequel to this book.

    [08:09] – What will save my life this week?

    [09:40] – Pre-order my new book coming out March 7th – lots of fun freebies for people who pre-order!

    [11:33] – Baker Publishing Group has the best deal on my new book.

    [13:14] – I’ve learned to tell Jesse I love him a lot.

    [15:43] – Jesse defines love as devotion, action and feeling.

    [16:00] – We learned to make each other laugh.

    [16:59] – Give your spouse time to do things he loves.

    [20:36] – We flirt every day.

    [22:44] – Be aware of the good and be thankful.

    [23:44] – A strong marriage does not happen by itself.

    [26:37] – Ano strong relationship requires work and sacrifice.

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