I can’t tell you how many emails I get from people talking about how they are ashamed of their debts. (Heartbreaking, sometimes to the point of thinking about suicide over debt.) So please listen as I tell you: Being in debt is not a moral failure.
Let me repeat that: having debt is not a moral failure. You are not a bad person when you are in debt.
You are someone who has borrowed money.
I wanted to write, “You’re someone who borrowed money and that’s it.” but that is not remotely true.
they are so much more than someone who has borrowed money. You are YOU and you are important. Nobody else in the world makes the things you do.
And there is nothing morally wrong with you because you are in debt.
It doesn’t matter if you are in credit card debt because you have eaten too much, your car breaks down, or you ended up in the hospital.
Or if you took out a student loan and dropped out of school, had a crushingly high mortgage, or borrowed money for some other reason.
Why debt isn’t a moral failure
Debt (or being debt free) is not a reflection of yours moral.
It is a reflection on society, advertising, life experiences, habits, struggles and successes.
As long as you haven’t borrowed money with that target not repaying it after all is not a moral problem.
It’s a financial one.
This also applies if you have to file for bankruptcy.
That’s because moral issues are about whether your character is good or bad.
Don’t confuse the idea of good debt and bad debt with whether or not it is morally wrong to take out credit.
It is not wrong to borrow and repay money and go about it in good faith. Even if you can’t.
Being in debt may not be something you want (who does this?), But it’s not immoral.
And feed you and your family First is not immoral either. LIFE is more important than payments. This also includes taking care of your mental and physical health.
To be ashamed of debt
So where does all the shame come from?
I suspect it actually comes from a good moral character. From a real desire and intention to be the kind of person who keeps their word, who is trustworthy and caring.
Who take care of their families and want to live up to their own ideals. Who sometimes helps others.
So when you are struggling with debt or going through tough times it can feel terrible not to do it.
It can feel embarrassing, embarrassing, or so stressful that you can’t even sleep.
You want to live up to your own expectations, and for whatever reason, you cannot right now.
So of course it feels bad.
Food for thought
But I’m going to tell you a few things I’ve learned over the years. I was in the national media with my name and picture and said that I owe over $ 147,000.
And during the long withdrawal process, I told friends, family, coworkers, and even chatted to complete strangers in line at the grocery store about working on getting it paid off.
I don’t pretend to know what they were thinking, but I can tell you what I’ve heard over and over again. Things like:
- “Oh, this is so great that you are debt free!”
- “I wish I could too!”
- “How did you do that?”
- “Oh, I have so many debts too”
- “What do you think my first step should be?”
No one had something bad to say about it.
And if someone did, the support would drown them out.
If someone says something bad, they accept she about your debt or you, they are not the type of person you want to listen to.
there are People out there who don’t always say nice things. It happens sometimes.
But no matter who they are or what is being said, we don’t need to let negative thoughts or comments into our lives.
Even if that person she tell yourself negative things about yourself. You can say to yourself “stop!” and focus on something else instead. It takes practice, but it can be done.
I’m telling you that debts don’t last forever.
and at the moment is not forever. It is only now.
The future could be better. You could make small changes that put you on a completely different path – one that leads to a bright future. You could make very tough changes. You could do a mix of things.
But one thing I hope you will surely do is let go of any shame. Approve it, go ahead and do the best you can. Your life is worth it.